Lover

Putting all the cards in your sweet little hands

Committing the lines of your face into memory

Waiting as women are wont to do

Woefully willingly wanting you

To hold you, to touch you

To pay the cost, knowing

Time is a tapestry of love and loss

There is nothing in me that can make you mean less

Or diminish your perfection in memory

Carve your name into my old weary heart

Love is a game made of risk and false starts

You half-change your mind as you walk out my door

I fear that I’ll never see you again

You hold me and kiss me and promise me more

But love is a game and you don’t always win

Sometimes we just can’t make a thing work out

You hesitate, I hesitate… we both have our doubts

In search of a certainty we’ll never know

Having you, holding you and letting you go

I still remember how you gave yourself to me

Generously and completely

Leaving me tenderly with kisses and promises

You just couldn’t keep

Weeping incessantly, eyes swollen shut

Grasping and reaching for I don’t know what

I am a fool

I am your fool, indeed

I don’t want you to leave

And I want to believe

But love is a game of holding

And letting go

Sometimes these things happen

Quickly and sequence

Now if letting you go

Is the best I can do

I just want you to know

This is me

Loving you

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~ by Sumiko Saulson on January 5, 2015.

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